the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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