AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
