Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
