I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he shaved USA in his pubs
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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