she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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