Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
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