Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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