You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
