Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
