what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
