Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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