do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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