I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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