i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
