if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize