I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
is this the sara with the beer cane?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
