I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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