She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
