Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
