so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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