idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
