ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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