I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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