You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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