My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize