I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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