people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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