so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
