In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
