I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
