I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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