Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
