hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
