Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
