Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
