allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize