is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
3pm strippers are depressing
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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