Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
