Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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