Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
