sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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