Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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