Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
