Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Quick, to the slutcave!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
