I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
