I need help removing her.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Damn victory sex feels great
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
