I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
