I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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