There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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