What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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