dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
