Heybabeimwearingurpanties
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
be right there i have to get my cape
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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