You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Oh god it's open bar.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
