But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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