Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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