my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You took a bar mat shot.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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