It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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